much wows.
Jun. 14th, 2025 02:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alicevangeline- Camp:
- Protests:
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- Surprise Mail
- Virtual IOP program
alicevangeline---
motto for today: better than we think
Jun. 13th, 2025 12:39 pmalicevangeline- a work situation is less dire than i thought.
- I am not feeling as shitty today (pun intended) and am continuing to hydrate. I brought cheap ramen and frozen veggies for lunch. then i was thinking about the cute weird movie Ponyo and when they eat the tasty ramen
- I've been waiting about the agency payment for summer camp, heard from agency, they'll expedite, i had to fill out a financial need form and thought maybe we wouldn't qualify but it looks like we do?
- work is getting out today at 2:30 and summer hours in future (get paid for 40 hours but work 30 unless I have to do more)
- girlkid unfortunately acquired the phenomenon known as Hell's Itch (from sunburn) but we fixed it and she felt better, and today she was being dramatic about school but it turns out it was more of 'being dramatic' than actual distress. I am glad she was able to do thumbs up and stuff.
- also camp & therapies seem like the best I can do for each kid. I am going to trust myself on this - I KNOW that it all makes sense at the time.
by the way my remedy for Sunburn Hell's Itch is:
1. topical blend: aloe lotion + cbd lotion + cortizone lotion
2. take 2: advil + benadryl
(apparently the itch is a histamine response that happens to fairskinned people who get sunburned in the mountains?! )
Oh PS:
"better than I think" sounds a little like "I know you better than you fake it" which is a lyric from 1979 by the smashing pumpkins, which is a kind of optimistic summer song, kind of? (The double kind-of is on purpose. Kind-of reduces the adjective by 75-50%. A double reduces it twice that!)
TMI
Jun. 12th, 2025 02:11 pmalicevangelineMe: "I could do without antibiotic side effects. Happy Thursday."
Dan: "Hope it's still a net positive at least, sopping any life threatening infections or whatever. Happy Thursday!"
----
My guts are being insipid, like when Fred Armisen was like, 'I'm just a lil baby! I don't know how to do anything!' and they're like 'we don't have any flora, let's convert everything to liquid yayy'
also the rest of me doesn't feel GREAT (floaty, a little headachey, bone tired, occasionally noticing tooth or sinus issue) but hey, i would still take this over actual toothache any day of the week.
I'll keep hydrating and handwashing.
Dan: "Hope it's still a net positive at least, sopping any life threatening infections or whatever. Happy Thursday!"
----
My guts are being insipid, like when Fred Armisen was like, 'I'm just a lil baby! I don't know how to do anything!' and they're like 'we don't have any flora, let's convert everything to liquid yayy'
also the rest of me doesn't feel GREAT (floaty, a little headachey, bone tired, occasionally noticing tooth or sinus issue) but hey, i would still take this over actual toothache any day of the week.
I'll keep hydrating and handwashing.
(no subject)
Jun. 11th, 2025 08:19 amalicevangeline bodies are stupid.
i went in to get my toothache looked at and lo, it's infected, as is its neighbor, as is the bone and the sinus. I'm on antibiotics and will be doing 2 tooth extractions next week. I'm alternating between 'gratitude that I didn't feel the usual debilitating toothache pain (probably because there's no nerve in the culprit!) and 'fascinated because tooth infections can go septic and kill you and mine spread to the sinus already.' Fun.
Also pinched a nerve in my sleep so my arm's all tingly and I'm just over it. Like - i'm ready for a 'watch gardeners world and eat cookies on the couch but buy a comfier couch first.'
the news is gross.
and that's the report from here!
i went in to get my toothache looked at and lo, it's infected, as is its neighbor, as is the bone and the sinus. I'm on antibiotics and will be doing 2 tooth extractions next week. I'm alternating between 'gratitude that I didn't feel the usual debilitating toothache pain (probably because there's no nerve in the culprit!) and 'fascinated because tooth infections can go septic and kill you and mine spread to the sinus already.' Fun.
Also pinched a nerve in my sleep so my arm's all tingly and I'm just over it. Like - i'm ready for a 'watch gardeners world and eat cookies on the couch but buy a comfier couch first.'
the news is gross.
and that's the report from here!
just some reflection:
Jun. 10th, 2025 10:08 amalicevangelineGraduation:
Girlkid:
- I like that kids were given a choice of maroon or white for their gowns. I think traditionally girls wore white and boys wore maroon, but in 2025, we don't like to be that binary; so kids just picked a color. (Says t anyway).
- They didn't have to parade in alphabetical order. They just walked with one or two buddies and carried an index card with their name on it, so when their time was called, they could hand the card to the coordinator, who proudly announced them. (There is a picture of him holding his card very tightly, and I get it, because it was his one job...)
- Some of the caps were extravagantly decorated! But on the morning of, Ty grabbed 2 handmade buttons and we popped those on. Good enough and very on-brand for him.
- It was indoors due to rain. And it was crowded, but not THAT hot - mostly not enough room for our femurs!
- It wasn't that long either - started at 10, ended at 11.
- I also liked this about the speeches: I guess seniors applied (and were selected) to be commencement speakers. We had 2 and they were good. One was an Artist and the other is one of my little buddies from the rotary club - one of those kids who is athletic, gorgeous, brilliant, and also very kind.
- Her dad was the guest speaker, she made a cute joke about that too. And you know what? He's a soccer coach and runs a pizza shop. I think you might understand why that's cool - often times, guest speakers are Big Shots. This fella is a successful guy, sure, but he is more importantly super nice and also generous (he said he must have given free pizza to the right people). I absolutely love this.
- His speech was great. Someone said it was the best they'd heard. He did remind us that pizza always helps (and someone else reminded us comfortable shoes are always worth it), but one of his main points is that everyone begins as a stranger to you - even your kids began as tiny strangers! And that made me cry a bit!
- He also said: “Your identity is not what you do [for a living] but who you are. Degrees, titles and fortune are worthy aspirations but will never replace the timeless virtues of kindness, humility, generosity, integrity and love for our family and friends.” (I got this from the newspaper write up :) )
Girlkid:
- I did a catchup sesh with her therapist yesterday. Points:
- Although she does have disordered eating (a couple things behind that), Kiddo only has about 30 minutes worth of Willingness To Be In Therapy at a time, and they are making progress with her DBT/ distress tolerance. She is learning and using strategies.. I will talk more about this chat later maybe but
- With that 30 min parameter, and that Kid doesn't even want to talk about food, we won't be able to do anything with eating/body in session, so external help is a maybe -- but again, she doesn't even want to talk about it.
- I explained my rabbit hole to Summer Residential Therapy and there are a couple great points:
- Even though reddit and reviews hate those places, a lot of that is coming from that it's not the kid's choice to be there. Take the reviews with many grains of salt. They can do good work.
- That said, she's not struggling ENOUGH for a program like that. It's constant, but she's not actively trying to unalive herself, and we don't want her to pick that up from the others there.
- So it's not a terrible idea, Alice, but it's also not the right move right now.
- However, the step in-between weekly therapy and residential would be IOP - intensive outpatient - and there are virtual programs. Therapist gave me a referral to two and I called one.
- It works like this: 3 days x week of group (with 3 different sessions in each) plus 1 session of individual and one of family therapy. Eating disorders & anxiety & neurodivergence and the LGBT experience are all in their repertoire.
- Here's where I'm at now:
- Continue with the assessments/application for the program
- Because of How She Is (spicy, obstinate), she might hate it? she might not want to do this? so that's a discussion
- However, sitting around the house bored WILL NOT WORK for any of us.
- I need to take a chunk of time to help structure her summer.
- That'\s part of why the IOP now - to take available time (summer) to work on mental health.
- She is also interested in skipping 8th grade and is leading that process, so I'm meeting with her principal about that next week. I mean, she's 12 so she doesn't entirely get to decide - her opinion is but one of many factors - but she has valid points and we will proceed.
- She may need to take summer school classes online if she goes this route.
- So my 'create a summer structure' will have to factor that in but also it kind of depends on how that convo goes. And if the principal says no, do we talk to the high school principal?
- Otherwise, summer is 3 days of horse camp for her, 1 week of trad summer camp for kids with autism who are shy to try new things.
- Everything else is 'shrug emoji.'
- I also might sign her up for Hero's Journey Minecraft club..
(no subject)
Jun. 9th, 2025 11:18 amalicevangelineto the 'tune' of modern major general:
I am a parent of a very recent high school graduate
My inlaws came and visited and then it rained and then they went
the Quality of air is very poor; might be why we are sick
me and dan and megan have sore throats and heads all full of ick.
I'm at work but she is home with ty and dan and Polish friend
the latter two are working but the former has nothing to tend.
He earned three thousand and five hundred dollars through his scholarships
And one was for the most improved of students in the fellowship...
Ok that last one was a stretch, i just mean of the 120 hs seniors he got the "most improved student" scholarship, which is nice.
I am a parent of a very recent high school graduate
My inlaws came and visited and then it rained and then they went
the Quality of air is very poor; might be why we are sick
me and dan and megan have sore throats and heads all full of ick.
I'm at work but she is home with ty and dan and Polish friend
the latter two are working but the former has nothing to tend.
He earned three thousand and five hundred dollars through his scholarships
And one was for the most improved of students in the fellowship...
Ok that last one was a stretch, i just mean of the 120 hs seniors he got the "most improved student" scholarship, which is nice.
(no subject)
Jun. 4th, 2025 01:31 pmalicevangeline Describing one of my kids as 'spacey' and the other as 'spicy' and I am enjoying how that works out.
Here's another thing and I hope it's not me borrowing troulbe but I've been thinking about getting girlkid into a residential program for her various issues. and rather than thinking about it I called up the place - Newport Academy - 6-8 week residential treatment center.
Stay tuned!
----
Ok.
on the one hand, 6-8 weeks of a residential treatment for anxiety/ocd/disordered eating/depression issues, mostly covered by insurance except for $1250.
However; a little bit more 'what could go wrong' critical thinking led me to a reddit rabbit hole about the Troubled Teen Industry which specifically calls out this place among other places. I'm trying to continue to use critical thinking about the whole thing but one post i saw that is probably the right answer - i screenshotted it, and paraphrasing here:
"time. what she's going through is developmental, and she will grow out of a lot of what's going on. she needs to be parented through this. it will be the hardest thing you've ever done. don't send her away. she needs you and adding parental rejection/abandonment to her traumas will make everything worse. preserving a relationship with her, guiding her with love, modeling proper coping strategies, all of that is going to pay off, but you have to be ready to wait for that payoff. it's coming. maybe not for a long time, but it will."
dangit
Here's another thing and I hope it's not me borrowing troulbe but I've been thinking about getting girlkid into a residential program for her various issues. and rather than thinking about it I called up the place - Newport Academy - 6-8 week residential treatment center.
Stay tuned!
----
Ok.
on the one hand, 6-8 weeks of a residential treatment for anxiety/ocd/disordered eating/depression issues, mostly covered by insurance except for $1250.
However; a little bit more 'what could go wrong' critical thinking led me to a reddit rabbit hole about the Troubled Teen Industry which specifically calls out this place among other places. I'm trying to continue to use critical thinking about the whole thing but one post i saw that is probably the right answer - i screenshotted it, and paraphrasing here:
"time. what she's going through is developmental, and she will grow out of a lot of what's going on. she needs to be parented through this. it will be the hardest thing you've ever done. don't send her away. she needs you and adding parental rejection/abandonment to her traumas will make everything worse. preserving a relationship with her, guiding her with love, modeling proper coping strategies, all of that is going to pay off, but you have to be ready to wait for that payoff. it's coming. maybe not for a long time, but it will."
dangit
burnout
Jun. 2nd, 2025 08:53 amalicevangelineOne of the good questions my therapist asks is 'how can you tell when you are reaching burnout' and one answer is my swearing and sarcasm increase, and my resentment of like, everything.
I have another one! It's when nothing is happening and I'm trying to figure out the next task and I just hear my brain say "I AM EXHAUSTED" (not out loud). It's like every time I want to write a blog or email, that's nearly what I type. Kind of an obvious one.
I've been thinking, though, whether I should see specialists for a) sleep, b) my vision, c) my terrible feet.
Also I was thinking neurologist, but have since determined I don't wanna/need to. (And this was because: had several concussions in life, at least 2 that I remember for sure, and because of my balance, vision, and language issues I'm curious if the concussions contributed to that. But. If so, then what, you know what i mean? Also when I had my balance thing I had an MRI at the time, and I imagine if they noticed a problem they'd have said something. Unless they weren't looking. Anyway the language stuff that I've noticed is I think what we call motor planning where I form the sounds out of order either out loud, in my head, or on the keyboard now. It's not that often, but it happens.)
My terrible feet: I got all the goodies, bunions, callouses, and hammertoe. And my legs and feet hurt most of the time. I am not sure what kind of shoes would help but I assume 'more activity' is the answer because I've been glued to my desk a lot.
Vision: not only do I have the astigmatism & the nearsightedness, but also the Googly, which is "strabismus." Plus doctor mentioned some mild 'cupping' which is something to watch for Re: glaucoma. Plus my 23&me said to watch out for macular degeneration. So in sum, jfc, I think my eye health should be Kept An Eye On. (And the strabismus, I thought might be related to a brain problem or when I had the balance nerve problem, because of eyes not matching up properly. That can be an issue with either how the brain processes or how the eyes work, I guess.)
I have another one! It's when nothing is happening and I'm trying to figure out the next task and I just hear my brain say "I AM EXHAUSTED" (not out loud). It's like every time I want to write a blog or email, that's nearly what I type. Kind of an obvious one.
I've been thinking, though, whether I should see specialists for a) sleep, b) my vision, c) my terrible feet.
Also I was thinking neurologist, but have since determined I don't wanna/need to. (And this was because: had several concussions in life, at least 2 that I remember for sure, and because of my balance, vision, and language issues I'm curious if the concussions contributed to that. But. If so, then what, you know what i mean? Also when I had my balance thing I had an MRI at the time, and I imagine if they noticed a problem they'd have said something. Unless they weren't looking. Anyway the language stuff that I've noticed is I think what we call motor planning where I form the sounds out of order either out loud, in my head, or on the keyboard now. It's not that often, but it happens.)
My terrible feet: I got all the goodies, bunions, callouses, and hammertoe. And my legs and feet hurt most of the time. I am not sure what kind of shoes would help but I assume 'more activity' is the answer because I've been glued to my desk a lot.
Vision: not only do I have the astigmatism & the nearsightedness, but also the Googly, which is "strabismus." Plus doctor mentioned some mild 'cupping' which is something to watch for Re: glaucoma. Plus my 23&me said to watch out for macular degeneration. So in sum, jfc, I think my eye health should be Kept An Eye On. (And the strabismus, I thought might be related to a brain problem or when I had the balance nerve problem, because of eyes not matching up properly. That can be an issue with either how the brain processes or how the eyes work, I guess.)